A Year of YES!!

Probably the most controversial element on Play at Home Mom is our YES ALBUM.  We try to inspire parents to connect with their children through play, but we also try to inspire parents to let go a bit, say yes more often, and embrace their children’s childhood.  It’s definitely not for everyone, and we often get some “brutally honest” feedback – and that’s OK – but there seems to be a misconception about embracing the word YES, and eliminating NO.  Our YES VIDEO was an attempt to dispel the notion that saying YES is just being permissive and lazy.  Another misconception we find is that saying YES is preceded by a tantrum and that we just say YES to appease our children.  This couldn't be further from the truth.   If there is no good reason for a no, then it’s a yes.  Simple.  Its not for everyone, it can be confusing, and its hard not to make assumptions based on a picture and a YES caption, we understand that.

YES isn't always easy....

Almost a year ago, my son asked me to take the training wheels off of his bike….YES.  

It was at that time,  5 months shy of his fourth birthday, that he decided he was going to ride without training wheels – and he did.  Woo-Hoo!!  He was so proud of himself.  At that time, he wanted someone running alongside him, and was unable to start or stop on his own.

The first ride.

“Mommy, can you run next to me while I ride.”

YES

The next YEAR went something like this…..

He started to gain confidence as the months went by.

 “Mommy, can you run on the other side of the road, not next to me?"

YES

“Mommy, will you hold the bike while I ride.  I can’t do it.”

(Wait, what?  Oh my gosh!  You totally know how to ride your bike!  What the Christmas is this all about?)

YES

“Mommy, can you run next to me?  What if I crash?  Can you hold my bike while going down the hill?”

(Huh?  You just flew down that hill a week ago.  What….the….Christmas!!!???)

YES

“Mommy, I can do it.  Just run next to me.  Can you just run next to me?”

(Awesome!  Finally – back to feeling confident!)

YES

[Then there were months where he didn't want to ride at all.]

"Mommy, can you ride your bike while I ride mine?"
(Wow!  He's finally there.  I can ride with him now.  So fun!)

YES

“Mommy, can you buy me this balance bike?”

(Huh?  You already ride a real bike!  Ugh.  Well, it’s on sale for $20 and I know he LOVES his friends balance bike.  But what the Christmas??!!  What if he stops riding his real bike?  Is this going to make him regress?)

YES

Balance Bike

“Mommy, let’s try my big bike to see if my feet touch the ground all the way.”

OK

“Look, Mommy, my feet touch all the way.  Look, Mommy, I can stop all by myself.  Look, Mommy, I can start all by myself, too.

THE FINALE TO OUR YEAR OF YES

Yes can be tough to say in many instances.  It can be a challenge to stay mindful that our children have moments when they are feeling less than confident.   When we support our children through the process (even if its a year long) by saying YES, we leave them feeling respected, empowered, confident. 

Thank you Little Hearts Books for the photo.

 My son is now (I think....for the most part) 100% confident on his bike.  And here is a montage of his "celebration dance" to prove it.

YES!!!

- AK (MESE, MECD)

You have read this article Instilling Capability with the title A Year of YES!!. You can bookmark this page URL http://happychild2210.blogspot.com/2013/04/a-year-of-yes.html. Thanks!